Getting the best from people - with a sense of humour
Contributed by Patricia Cameron-Hill Ba.App.Sc (Adv.Nsg) and Dr Shayne Yates M.B.B.S
Authors of the best selling books You won't die laughing (How to have less stress in your life and more fun) and "Dr I Feel Funny"
A sense of humour costs nothing, yet creates much.
It enriches those who receive without impoverishing those who give.
It happens in a flash and the memory of it can last forever.
No one is so wealthy, they can get along without it.
No one is so poor that they are not enriched by its benefits.
It creates happiness in the home,
Fosters goodwill in business, and is the counter-sign of friends.
It is rest to the weary.
Daylight to the discouraged.
Sunshine to the sad.
And nature's best antidote for trouble.
(Author unknown)
You can see from this poem, that your sense of humour is far too valuable to be left to chance. It is helpful to think of a sense of humour as an appreciation of humour. Just as people have the ability to appreciate music, art, a hobby or sport - we all have the ability to appreciate humour or to laugh at something. You don't even have to be naturally funny, nor do you have to create humour of your own - it's all out there just waiting for you to find it!
Your sense of humour is just like a muscle, you need exercise to keep it flexed and firm. The humour training we're concerned with is called humorobics which will help to get you 'humour fit' to think and be even funnier. With a stronger sense of humour you are more likely to see the funny side of things and laugh more often - and when you're laughing, you cannot be stressed.
For example this is why a sense of humour is a valuable asset to any family. Families can be a great source of pleasure, fun and support, but they can also be difficult at times. One reason for this is that the things we find tolerable or even amusing in our friends, can be unforgivable when it comes to family. The closer we are to someone the more we expect of them so that we can be easily disappointed when our expectations aren't met. One way of dealing with this is to reduce your expectations and activate your sense of humour.
Humour is a great communication tool. It can reduce conflict and unite family members, especially in tough times. A sense of humour enables you to take what you do seriously (and farming is serious) but take yourself lightly. Most people take themselves too seriously and family members are no exception.
HOW TO THINK FUNNY
Most people leave their sense of humour to chance. By this, we mean that although we occasionally go to see a funny movie, or hear a joke, or stumble on a story, we don't always make a habit of it. As a result, very few of us have tapped our 'fool' potential for humour and all it needs is a little training.
This sense of humour training is really quite simple - if you want 'funny' out of your brain, then you've got to put 'funny' in. In other words, if you want to think funny thoughts and say funny things, you must have a repertoire of humorous material in your brain so you can pull something out when you need it.
What we suggest you do is to be more aware of collecting humour until it becomes second nature to you too. This means putting as much humour into your brain as you can find, and then trusting your brain to sort it out. Don't worry about putting too much in, we've never heard anyone say, 'I'm too funny'! In no time at all, you'll find the funniest thoughts just popping into your brain at the oddest moments, or when you need it most.
SENSE OF HUMOUR TRAINING - 'HUMOROBICS'
Exercise # 1: Laugh at yourself
The safest target for humour is yourself. Your situation can be just as funny if it happens to you, as if it happens to someone else. So instead of feeling embarrassed, see it as sense of humour training and think of the fun you'll have telling the story to other people - especially if you embellish a little! Keep in mind that when you tell a story that pokes fun at yourself, it lets other people (especially kids) know that you're a human being. This is what we mean . . .
At a seminar in Wellington, New Zealand, I was acknowledging the various people represented when I said:
'Where are the people from the IRA?"
There were a few gasps, then spontaneous laughter. I didn't realise what I had said so I couldn't understand why people were laughing so I turned to Shayne who said:
"You mean the IRD" (Inland Revenue Dept.)
By joining in the laughter myself, it encouraged people to laugh even louder and I still get teased by the IRD over that. (Patricia)
Exercise # 2: Laugh at someone else
Funny friends are treasures so make time to be with them and look after them. Try not to take their comedic gifts for granted, give them heaps of praise (imagine what they would be like with a little encouragement!). If you don't have some funny friends, then it's time to find them and a good place to start is by going to comedy clubs and talking to the people sitting next to you.
Thinking about the things in my life that I really enjoy, reminded me of a fun person I knew. When we were out together and saw people having a group photo taken, we would sidle up and get in the photo. It never failed to get people laughing, especially Japanese wedding parties. (Elizabeth Jones)
Exercise # 3: Watch funny movies, videos and television shows
If you laugh the first time you watch a funny video, then you will laugh the next time. Invest in some classics for your humour library which might include: Patch Adams, There's Something about Mary, A Fish Called Wanda, Dumb and Dumber, Fawlty Towers, The Castle, Strictly Ballroom, What about Bob, Sister Act, Nuns on the Run, Groundhog Day, Sargent Bilko, Happy Gilmore, House Sitter, Four Weddings and a Funeral, Are You Being Served, Benny Hill, Tootsie, Marx Bros, The Full Monty, Priscilla Queen of the Desert, Abbott and Costello, Cool Runnings.
Exercise # 4: Become a humour consumer
Start collecting cartoons, jokes and funny books. You'll be amazed at what you can unearth once you start, especially if you look for anything strange, old fashioned, forgotten, odd, impossible or brilliant. Our book You Won't Die Laughing! will give you plenty of ideas to get started.
Other places to look include:
- New and second hand bookshops and garage sales: provide a wonderful humour treasure hunt as you unearth old magazines, advertisements and books.
- Funny greeting cards: offer a quick humour break when browsing and are a ready source of humour.
- In your own house or shed: it is likely you have humour material you may have forgotten about, and which you will now find funnier because you have strengthened your sense of humour. (Why not take humour along to your 'cell' meetings.
- Newspapers and magazines: especially for comic strips and cartoons, and other sources of humour, both intentional and unintentional. Look for 'odd spots' in newspapers.
Exercise # 5: Collect stories
Funny things happen on farms. Write them down, share them around and keep them for future generations. Why not have a 'best true funny story' competition at your next conference.
Exercise # 6: Listen to comedy on CD and tape
Now here's a great way to have a break during those long sowing and harvesting days. Bring the tractor to a halt, put a comedy tape into your walkman while you have a big drink of water or a 'cuppa' and you've turned a tea break into a fun break. Yippee! Our library includes:
Yes Minister, Bill Cosby, Billy Connolly, Mum's the Word, Robin Williams, Billy Crystal, Ben Elton, Victoria Wood, Woody Allen, Steve Wright, George Burns and Gracie Allen, W.C.Fields, Joyce Grenfell.
Exercise # 7: Go to comedy clubs, comedy shows and comedy festivals
Comedy clubs are to the humorobics enthusiast what the gymnasium is to the athlete. Some humour is best in the telling so you can see the facial expressions and gestures with the performance. So next time a funny show comes to a town or city near you, set a goal to go - and no excuses!
Exercise # 8: Access Internet humour
Here you need to be selective, but there are numerous web sites devoted to humour. You may even want to set up your own humour exchange network. Shayne provides a free 'Friday Funnies' internet service, so just e-mail us if you want to be included. Here's some Internet humour . . .
A fellow is sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife sneaks up behind him and whacks him on the head with a frying pan.
"What was that for?" he says after regaining his senses.
"That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Marylou written on it," she replies.
"Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Marylou was the name of one of the horses I bet on," he explains.
She looks satisfied, apologizes, and goes off to do work around the house.
Three days later he's again sitting in his chair reading when she nails him with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him out cold.
When he comes to, he says, "What the heck was that for?"
"Your horse phoned."
Exercise # 9: What's funny about you?
Although you may not always be aware of it, you have a funny side, which you tap and use to amuse other people. Your funny side includes any annoying or funny habits, unusual jobs you've had, wacky hobbies or interests, and any funny talents or skills and embarrassing moments. For example, one of Shayne's unusual jobs was working in a pickle factory as a medical student - from there he went to work as a mortuary attendant in a hospital!
Examples of hobbies and interests include: juggling, clowning, doing impressions, singing, writing limericks, funny drawing, tap dancing, lifting your eyebrows, wriggling your ears, or making funny faces! Ask your family and friends to help you discover your funny side. Here's an example from one of our seminar attendees:
One of my 'endearing' characteristics involves the fact that I have trouble telling my left from my right. Fortunately, God realised this and I was born with a spot in the middle of my right wrist. When I was little, I thought that everyone else had a spot too and didn't realise that it was unusual to consult your wrists when needing to know left from right.
That is, until I was 17, when my mother sat me down before my practical driving test to make me practise turning left & right without looking at my wrists first!
Now my friends who know about it just wait for me to complete the consultation and people who don't know me look at me with a funny look on their faces and my partner refuses to let me give him instructions when we are driving in a town we don't know. Oh by the way, does it help to know that I am left-handed! (Lynette Goodare)
Exercise # 10: Keep a Humour Log
This is simply a small notebook that you carry with you at all times to record jokes, stories, one-liners, and humorous observations.
Here are some from our humour log:
- HRT = Husband Replacement Therapy.
- The optimist says the glass is half full. The pessimist says the glass is half-empty. The mother says, "Just drink it."
- "Through no fault of my own I've become middle aged. It's not a character flaw it's just something that happened when I wasn't paying attention."
OTHER IDEAS
- Props and gimmicks: are easy to find, cheap, fun to use and will always make someone laugh. Here's a selection that we've collected over the years from magic shops and discount stores: stuffed cows, glow-in-the- dark juggling balls, (in fact, stuffed cow juggling balls!), whoopee cushions, plastic ants and spiders (excellent on meal plates), million dollar notes, happy lotion, tiaras, attitude adjusters, leis, frogs with moving tongues, finger traps, stickers, giant glasses, finger puppets and serious (nerd) spectacles (great for serious meetings).
- Starting a Fun Club or Humour Support Group: can hatch some great humour and fun! A group of people in Tauranga, New Zealand decided they were becoming, in their words 'boring old farts', so they set up a fun club and called it 'Act Your Shoe Size, Not Your Age' and each month they do something outrageous, silly or funny together.
- Special occasions: such as parties, reunions, dinners and conferences are great places to flex those humour muscles. You might suggest that everyone wears an extravagant piece of clothing, or dress for their favourite decade or provide each guest with a funny accessory. Ask everyone to bring two jokes to start a joke chain, which continues throughout the event. If you want to be more daring, people could bring the answer to 'What is your fantasy?'
In conclusion. The starting point to having more humour, fun and laughter in your life is to start with you. You are your greatest asset and the model for what you want other people to be. Try one or two Humorobic exercises and see what happens to your outlook and the way you feel. As you feel more relaxed and happy, chances are that the people around you will start feeling the same way. These feelings will lead to a wealth of happiness, health and harmony to not only generate financial wealth but to live long enough to enjoy it.
© Copyright 2001
Patricia Cameron-Hill Ba.App.Sc (Adv.Nsg) and Dr Shayne Yates M.B.B.S
Authors of the best selling books You won't die laughing! (How to have less stress in your life and more fun). & Dr, I feel Funny.
